Our Next Big Thing…TWINS!

I’ve had this post drafted in my head for the last several weeks, so I’m excited to be able to actually sit down and write it. I’m pregnant with twins! It was a shocking little bit of information that we found out at my first doctor’s appointment following a positive pregnancy test, to say the least. After a couple days of shock, we have fully settled into being so excited and very grateful for this incredible blessing. We’re still a little terrified, but that won’t be changing anytime soon, haha! We truly feel so blessed to be given this incredible gift. I’ve already heard from so many encouraging moms of twins/multiples who say that it is unlike anything else. While I know that it will be exhausting and chaotic at times, we get to witness something so special firsthand.

Are they identical or fraternal?

The twins are fraternal and totally separate (separate sacs and placentas)*, which is best case scenario, in terms of potential risks & complications.

*I’m just sharing what my doctor has told me. I’ve been told there’s a chance “separate” twins can still be identical, but you can’t know that until you do DNA testing once they’re born. So, I’m just going with the odds that they’re truly fraternal. Either way, it doesn’t matter!

When is your due date?

I’m due mid-April, but will have them prior to my due date. The goal is to make it to late March/early April before they’re born, but we will know a lot more as I get into my third trimester and start closely monitoring that.

How have you been feeling? Was the first trimester different with this pregnancy than with Liam?

My first trimester was rough – I was exhausted and had all-day nausea. I was able to eat a bit more than I could during my first trimester with Liam, but was absolutely repulsed by all meat, vegetables, and other foods that I normally love. I ate a lot of pasta, carbs, and fruit. I’m thankful to be feeling better as I’ve gotten into my second trimester! I’m still tired, but have less brain fog/apathy towards everything and am feeling my motivation pick back up. I started showing so early, it was wild! Second pregnancy + two babies in there = very little time to hide it under my clothes. I’m right in that awkward stage where I’m not big enough for maternity clothes, like maternity jeans, but can’t wear most of my pre-pregnancy clothes either.

In hindsight, the exhaustion this time around was next level. I mean, having a toddler and being pregnant will do that, but I was napping every day and sleeping 11-12 hours a night and still felt tired. It makes sense now because my body was working double time! Another thing that was different was that I had quite a bit more implantation cramping this time around. Again, I didn’t register that until after learning it was twins, but it went on much longer with this pregnancy than with my previous pregnancy.

Do twins run in your family? Did you do fertility treatments?

We conceived twins naturally. I didn’t find out that twins run in my family until a few days after finding out I was having them! My great grandmother was a twin, so it follows my mom’s side of the family.

Will you find out the genders?

Yes! We always planned to find out at the 20-week anatomy scan, like we did with Liam. Since learning that it’s twins, we opted to do the early genetic testing for the genders. While it will likely be accurate, we will wait until the anatomy scan to confirm and then share publicly.

How has your psoriatic arthritis been affected with pregnancy?

My psoriatic arthritis has been in remission and it has been so nice! I knew that many women go into remission from their autoimmune diseases during pregnancy and hoped that I would be one of them. I’m thankful to be able to avoid taking any medication for it and to be feeling good in that aspect.

Do you have first trimester anxiety about the possibility of loss? If so, how do you deal with it?

Trigger warning: pregnancy loss and miscarriage

Just prior to the positive pregnancy test that would be the beginning of this pregnancy with twins, I had an early miscarriage. I had been feeling off and my period was late, so I took a pregnancy test and got a positive! Just five days later, I woke up on a Saturday morning to find that I was miscarrying. It was sad and disappointing, but it all happened so quickly that I hadn’t even really had time to connect with or get excited about being pregnant. The hardest part for me was the questions and doubts it brought up – is this something that will happen again? What, if anything, does this mean for future pregnancies? I was able to get into my doctor within about 2 days and was reassured in that appointment. I knew the statistics for miscarriage were incredibly high, but couldn’t fully appreciate just how common they are until I became one of those statistics. For me, that brought comfort. I knew that I wasn’t alone and that it didn’t have to mean anything as far as future pregnancies was concerned.

Another thing that brought me an immense amount of comfort are the brave women that I know personally who had shared their experiences of miscarriage in the months leading up to mine. I knew 4 women personally who had also suffered a miscarriage in the 3 months prior to mine. Four. As soon as I realized that was happening on that Saturday morning, I was able to call one of them who had recently suffered a loss and she was able to talk with me and comfort me in a way that nobody else could. She fully understood what I was feeling and experiencing. I am so thankful for the strong, brave women who choose to open up and share their stories to encourage and support other women who may find themselves in the same situation. While it is still an isolating and lonely experience, knowing that there are other women out there who have walked the same road as you can help you feel just a little less alone.

With that, I hope you know that my heart is with anybody walking through loss, grieving a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, struggling to get pregnant, or dealing with any sort of infertility. It can be an incredibly lonely, devastating road, but I hope you know that there are other women out there standing alongside you and wanting to support you.

You can imagine that my anxiety with this pregnancy was through the roof. I had anxiety during my first trimester with Liam and that was with no personal experience to back it up, just knowing that it was a possibility. Having just experienced it, I was anxious every single day of my first trimester. I still have some anxiety, but it’s not all-encompassing like it was in the beginning. Mike has been incredibly supportive and strong for me., which has helped a lot. And I always feel so much better after every appointment that I get to see their strong heartbeats and growing bodies.

What is one thing you’re looking forward to about having twins?

There are so many things, but I’m so excited to be able to witness the special bond that twins have.

Are you emotional/worried about how Liam will react to the babies?

I’m not worried, but certainly have thought about it! It may be a tough transition for him, especially since he’s used to having our full attention all the time. I think he will be at a great age to be able to understand a bit better and be able to help out, if he wants to. He turns 3 in May, so he’ll be just shy of that when they babies are born. I can’t wait to see their relationships grow as they all grow up together.

Did you show earlier with this pregnancy?

Waaaaay earlier. I know that you typically show earlier with your second pregnancy, so I was anticipating that. But throw 2 babies in there and there’s no chance of hiding it! All of my shorts/pants with a button became uncomfortable about 8 or 9 weeks, then it was just dresses and leggings. Now that I’m eating more and my appetite has picked up, I’m showing quite a bit. I’m probably about the size that I was when I was 20-ish weeks pregnant with Liam. But, I love having a pregnancy belly and watching my body change. Growth is good!

Were you trying to get pregnant or did it just happen?

With the pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage, we weren’t officially trying. You’re either preventing pregnancy or you’re not, if ya know what I mean. So, we weren’t preventing, but we weren’t tracking my cycle either. That first pregnancy was definitely a surprise! After the miscarriage and getting the okay from my doctor to try again when we were ready, I started taking ovulation tests and we got pregnant right away.

The research seems to be mixed on whether or not you’re more likely to get pregnant and/or get pregnant with twins right after a miscarriage. I do know that twins run in the family, but it’s also maybe possible the miscarriage played a role in it. Either way, it doesn’t matter, but just thought I’d throw that in there.

I’m so happy to finally be able to share our exciting news with you. Thank you so much for sharing in our excitement and the kind and encouraging words you’ve sent our way the past few days. It means the world to me that you are invested in our lives and can share in our joy. I’m thrilled to be able to share this journey with you!