cat poems and such

all you cat lovers out there, today’s post is for you. you’re welcome.

so, mike and i went to the mall on sunday afternoon and i quickly ducked into Paper Source to drool over all the beautiful cards, calendars and other goodies. little did i know that i would find a plethora of cat-related things that i just had to buy. one of those things being this book of poems written by cats. obviously. i mean, how could i not?

i was reading them in the car on the way home and just cracking up. i read a few aloud to mike and all he could muster was a measly sympathy laugh, so i can’t wait to share it with some reaaaal cat people. here’s just a few of my favorites, but they’re all pretty great.

CLOSED DOOR
LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN
LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN
LET ME IN LET ME I-
Oh, uh, hello
I did not expect an answer
I did not expect an entrance
I did not expect this room to be so unbelievably dull
So, uh, goodbye

SEPARATION
You can have the CDs,
    I will take the string
You can have the TV,
    I will take this fuzzy thing
You can have the kitchen set,
    I will take this crumpled foil
You can have the car,
    I will keep this rug I soil
You can have the beach house,
    I will take this tissue box
You can have everything,
   Ooo I want those dirty socks
You can go to (bleep), I will see to that
For how dare you come home smelling of another cat?

MY LIFE IS RUINED
That was just for you
That was just our little joke
So we could share a little laugh
Just the two of us alone
But you took that special moment
You posted it online
Now forty million people think
I bark like a dog
And so I hide under the covers
Cursing your very name
Saying you better get a good lawyer
Or me a great agent

CHICKEN AND RICE
Chicken and rice for the first day
Chicken and rice for the second day
Chicken and rice for the third day
Chicken and rice for the fourth day
Chicken and rice for the fifth day
Chicken and rice for the sixth day
Lamb and rice today
And just like that my world crumbles

so, yeah. you should probably go buy this book now.